Make my day Monday

This is for the guy that ranted at me about my parking spot today....


Dear sir,
while I understand that the sidewalk is public property, and you have every right to be on it, I do not understand how standing there screaming at me about being parked (in my parking spot, next to the sidewalk) is constructive.  Yes, I do get a nice parking spot.  No, it's not because I'm fat.  No, it's not because I slept with someone.  And no, it's not because I'm white.  It's because I work here and I need somewhere to park my car.  There is ample parking in the other TWO parking lots that are directly behind you.  Please purchase a permit and then you can use those lots.


Also, where is this car you're ranting about?  I see a backpack and a hat with you...but no car.  In fact, I'm pretty sure I've seen you wandering the streets with a grocery cart.  Those also have parking spots, at Sobeys.  Not on my sidewalk.  Not in my spot.


Sir, I will not stand around and argue with you about the necessity of having a parking spot in downtown Halifax - it's pointless.  I'm tired of your yelling, I'm tired of your screaming, it's 9 a.m. and I have a headache.  Please remove yourself from my sidewalk.  Or, optionally, I can call the police and they can remove you.  Which do you prefer?


Go on and answer...make my day.

Make my Day, Monday

What, you may ask, is Make my Day Monday?  Well, I seem to have trouble with Mondays.  Much like Garfield, I have a problem with them.  In fact I would ALMOST say that I hate Monday.  So, in honor of my hate for Monday I will use this day to write an open letter to whomever deserves my Monday wrath.

Ready?  Alright, let's start with Monday itself.  I think Monday deserves to know how I feel about it...

Dear Monday,
I know you are aware of my dislike of you.  After spending a full weekend with my favorite days, Saturday and Sunday, the last thing I want to see is you.  I know this is hard for you to accept but please, I don't want to see you popping up on my calendar anymore.


We had a good run, Monday.  It's been rough at times, but those early morning coffee runs helped us understand each other.  I know this is going to be difficult for you, but I hope that we can move on from this heart break and find other ways to live along side each other.  Maybe if you changed your name it would help.  I know you're pretty stuck on Monday but perhaps I-want-to-sleep-in-but-have-to-go-to-work-day is still free?  If not then I hope this letter has made you realize that we need to limit our visits to each other.  I will still see you at the beginning of the office week and occasionally when I'm on vacation, but know this: I'm watching you, Monday.  

Go ahead - make my day, Monday.