Alright all you 18-25 year olds, listen up!!
I don't think you're all doomed. I don't think if you get married at 22 or 23 you're doomed to failure or divorce. I don't think that because you're in college and getting married that you're going to fail at married life and be miserable. I may be bitter and jaded but I'm not THAT bitter and jaded.
I DO think that if you are in love, and you do want to get married then you should be waiting until you've experienced life. You can experience life at any age but what I'm saying is that unless you've spent some time in the real world, then you are NOT ready for marriage.
You need to be independent. You need to experience life - which includes but is not limited to : moving out, education, jobs, paying bills, love, heartbreak, friendships, disappointments, challenges, mistakes, getting so shyt faced drunk that you can't stand (yes, this is a requirement.) and so many other things that I can't even begin to name them. You need to know that you have grown as a person and that you'll continue to grow and to change in your life and in your relationships. You need to be mature. I'm not talking growner than I am-mature, I'm talking I pay my own bills, have a good job and know what I want in life-MATURE.
There are so many little pieces that need to add up before you should be getting married. There are so many things to experience and to enjoy in life. It's WONDERFUL to have someone to share those experiences with and it's wonderful that you think you've found that person. But please, don't bash on me when I tell you to experience life. I'm not telling you this because I want to be a bitter old hag, I'm telling you this because I genuinely want people to experience all the amazing things that I've experienced in my short life and to have the time to develop themselves as people. I want everyone to be able to enjoy their lives, their relationships and their eventual marriages. There is no need to rush.
(Disclaimer: I am not actually a bitter OLD hag, FYI I'm only 24.)
Amen.
ReplyDeleteI don't base things on statistics, I base things on what I see. And what I see is that I don't know a single person who got married right out of high school or while I was in college who is in a healthy relationship, most are too broke or trying hard to "prove everyone wrong" to get divorced.
There's a big difference between the 22 year old who are financially established and living on their own and the ones who are planning a wedding from their dorm room while mommy and daddy pay for college.